Thursday, August 03, 2006

food for thought.

here's some ingredients for a drink for labia.

labiacolada.

palm oil
taiwanese rice wine
coconut water
1tablespoon earwax
1tablespoon beeswax with painting medium
1tablespoon minced porklard.
1cup mint juice.
cranberry juice.

=)
love,
torty

we hate labia! let us count the ways...

hello everyone.
this it torty here...
hoonkee is still sleeping! haha.
so, its just me!
anyway,
i am the really torty, guest blogging for my owner...
she's applying nail polish behind me you see...
i can type! yes i can! i often surf the net in my shell you see.

i hear from her that that labia is getting on hers and hoonkee's nerves.
she always picking on them,
and she is really stubborn.. (and i thought that my owner was stubborn)...
anyway,
it seems that after every exam,
my owner and hoonkee have to go karaoke to let everything out...
she is a very bad woman.

she always sits with her legs wide open.
yuck!
my brother tise and me always make fun of the other female tortoise staying with us, cos she always spreads her legs wide open.
her name is nÜ (girl) tise (wu)...
but, at least nÜ wu's skirt covers her tail!
this labia got no shame at all.
and i hear that their friend always get the full view.
and my owner kena a bloody sight before!
eee. thankgoodness nÜ wu only passes urine.

she called my owner a armchair student....
and hoonkee self absorbed.
how can.
my owner works very hard you know.
and her friend hoonkee cannot absorb herself.
and what is wrong with my owner and hoonkee?
why must labia always pick on them?
they are both hardworking students!
ok, my owner say she's a scholar, so.. sigh.
no one can beat scholars already.
my owner and hoonkee got not enough books to beat her la.
i pity my owner and hoonkee.

and she always never shave arm pit one you know!
and she like to wear sleeveless and scratch her arm pit in front of everyone...
so sad right this person.
no money buy shaver.

unfortunately,
she is married.
i wonder how she got him.
maybe got him at some ulu exhibition when he was drunk ba...
sad case.
he looks like a butcher, and someone who moonlights as a kopitiam uncle. he got belly, and very oily looking. kuali face. eeeyer...
she got off springs!
both look fat. and, very dirty looking!
and the clothes look like handmedowns.
sigh.
in actual fact,
her mate is not working.
just like me and tise! just sit there and get food!
failure lor.
we are pets so its ok if we don't work,
but,
how can a mate not work?...
i thought the male must work, and if male mate eats while the female mate works, means he eat soft rice.. and its a shameful to do so in the society.
sigh.

i think labia also homophobic.
she always tell mr depp and hoonkee that they are very open minded people.
and she told my owner that gays are very good writers.
why?...
so, my owner is chapalang, so meaning she's quite a good writer.
then, labia is super straight, so meaning, she can't write at all?
ya lor. she cannot. she only know how to send out emails and flood everyone's mailbox.
she don't even know how to use photoshop.
sad case.

alright,
i guess thats all. i shall type another time.
tise and i are going to watch "tortcho tisebre "
on cabbage channel.
and we are going to eat dinner with nÜwu first!
we are having french beans for dinner!

ok, so here's tort signing off!
have a great day and a pleasant tomorrow!

--------------------------------------------
torty signing off! ciao!

WHEN LABIA STRIKES.

hi all! torty has already went to bed, so it's only me blogging for all for the night! :)
hee~

by the way, just for your info, torty and me have been good friends for years (we are both GIRLS and not interested in each other, gotta get it straight. haha!!).
hoonkee is attached, torty is still looking, any takers? heehee! :X

we shall not and won't be revealing much of our personal selves to the cruel and scary huge blogging world out there, too dangerous, i scared.
torty is torty cuz she loves tortoises, i am hoonkee cuz i love hoonkees. SO SIMPLE TO UNDERSTAND. :)
we prefer anonymity. hehe..

well, i shall let you guys in on today's latest news about miss Labia. ya la, what else? she pissed us off again! BIGTIME OK! we is sibeh jin jia DULAN LOR!
she called me narcissistic! WHAT THE BANANA?! she is so fucking full of herself, she IS the narcissistic one! NOT ME!
and she said torty is a LAZY PERSON. who the hell is she to make such insensitive and not to mention, GROUNDLESS comments?
i know, she hates us. cuz, WE IS SMARTER.

in case you guys are wondering abt the relationship between us and miss Labia, oh well i don't wanna say too much la, juz take it that miss Labia is our superior.
i hate labia.

i totally hate it when her freaking labia starts flapping and churns out all sorta cheebye nonsense and ASSUMPTIONS about other people. SHE IS SO..... KNNBCCB!
she totally has no qualms about putting people down, *poof* like that! macam putting out cigarette butt! i think people like me put out real cigarette butts also nicer and gentler than her! but she is doing this 'snub out cigarette butt' attitude to PEOPLE, REAL HUMANS WITH FLESH.

HOW LABIA-ISH!!
she ought to be stuffed into sewage pipes! let her labia fucking DROWN with sewage waste then she know.

and i absolutely HATE the way she stands. SO GORGEOUS YOU KNOW.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

don't believe? SEE FOR YOURSELF! hohoho....

















EVERYONE, LAUGH NOW!!!
HAHAHAHAHA!

torty wil do more blogging in the morning!
i'm out liao.................................


-----
hoonkee signs off. :)

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Beginning.

we are 2 adorable individuals who have been constantly bothered by this person who is short and with hairy armpits. hence the birth of this blog. :)

we shall vent all our verbal frustrations and hatred about this person (and perhaps other fuckers who piss us off too, might as well right!) whom we affectionately call LABIA here.

meet torty and hoonkee. that's us!

more to come, that's for sure! (ah boh? start blog for fun ah!) heehee~

love,
torty and hoonkee.